I was born and raised in a Christian home. But fact is I always felt ALONE. there was this void ,this emptiness that drove me to always seek attention. I was desperate for love, for attention, for a sense of belonging..
This led to my being abused by a relative at the age of 8 and subsequent sexual, emotional, physical and spiritual abuse later on….
I lost myself trying to feel loved and accepted.. I was ashamed, broken and unfixable, embarrassed at myself, insecure, depressed. I wasn’t living I was just existing. I kept moving from one abusive relationship to another, from one best friend to another. I would often try to harm myself only to get attention…
I was dying inside but outwardly I was “brilliant and intelligent kossy”
One day(I can never forget that day),I had given up.the pain felt like 3rd degree burns..on a scale of 1-10 it was a 10. I was broken,shattered, wounded, destroyed! It was all coming back: the pains from my mistakes and wrong choices, the hurt from all the abuses, the feeling of betrayal! Everything!! I just wanted to disappear, to wipe my name from existence.
On that day I received a call from a friend telling me about a Christian conference in another city.. I decided this was my escape (just go to that city and get lost).I’d not gone to that city before, I didn’t know anyone there, I wasn’t even invited for the program (it was supposed to be for ministers).but I decided to go..
Love found me…
I was lost and he found me..
In him I found love and acceptance, in him I found peace and happiness. He turned my shame to boldness, my scars to stories,my wounds to testimonies,
Today, am set free from the shackles of my past..
He made me bold,fearless and passionate.
Today,I can share my story and through it give hope and inspiration to young women like me.
You can be more than that horrible story, you can be more than the abuse,the brokenness, you can be more than the broken family,the broken relationship,
You can rise, you can soar, you can make a difference, you can be more!!